The bad month

Surprise surprise, this month has SUCKED. Yesterday I counted and I've taken a total of 10 sick days in the month of October alone. That's more than I usually took the entire year. Mac and I have been sharing colds and the flu and it seems like we've been sick FOR EVER!! To top this off, hubby is in the middle of crunch time at work and has been working crazy hours - I'm talking 6AM - 7PM Monday to Saturday - so he's exhausted too. This has all added up to be seriously one of the worst months I can remember having in a long time.

And it makes me think of Job. For some reason the verse "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him" has kept coming to mind over and over. I realize that Job had it waaaaaay worse (my son is still alive, my house is standing and no one has stolen my dog) but right now, in the middle of all this chaos, I feel a little slain. Sitting here on the couch exhausted because I spent the night before last power puking, feeling so tired the screen is swimming in front of my eyes, almost incapable of finishing sentences, with a little boy who during the last month of dealing with bronchitis, an ear infection and the flu has cut two molars (count them, TWO), dealing with a dog who is starting to eat the baby's toys because he's been cooped up in the house for two weeks straight because I don't have the energy to even put him on the treadmill - well, I can't help but wonder why it's all happening at the same time.

Then I think about that verse.  It's easy to read it and agree with it when one minor thing is going wrong. But to read it while all this garbage is going on at once and still go "Yeah, that's right" takes a LOT more faith. So in the middle of feeling sorry for myself because I have missed church three weeks in a row now because of all our cooties, I went on Mars Hill's website and downloaded a podcast to listen to.  And it just happened to be the one I needed to hear. (Actually, I downloaded three, and they were ALL the ONE I needed to hear) Pastor Mark talked about prayer and asking God for the desires of our hearts, and how God works all things for the better, even when our situations feel really crappy. He talked about how God is like a Dad and wants us to come to him with everything, and keep coming back all the time. He doesn't promise everything will be rosy, but that He'll use the less than rosy parts to teach us and the people around us some pretty major lessons.  It made me start to look at things a little differently. 

And then an other verse popped into mind. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to bring you hope and a future." Funny how when you're feeling down, God lets you know He's still in charge and still has plans for you. So even though I hope my "slaying" doesn't last much longer, it has taught me a big lesson about trust.  I can't say I have it down pat yet, but God is sure giving me the chance to practice it right now.


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