Prayers and signs

So the last few months have kinda sucked. Two miscarriages in one year, grandfather in the hospital, other family crap, bad post surgery news and now recently, some even more (potentially) lousy news about someone I love who is like a sister-from-an-other-mister to me. Top that with the fact that I had applied for like, the COOLEST part time job ever, was told that I basically had the job, and then didn't hear back for a week. (PS- When it comes to waiting, I'm like a dog - one human week = 14 years). So although I'm putting up a happy face, inside I'm pretty bitter and pissed off.

So two nights ago when I went to bed, I did my (suppose to be but lately hasn't been) nightly reading of the Bible. To be honest, I can't even tell you what I read. It wasn't going in at all. I was raised in a pretty conservative church where they say God is your father, but they are also really big on reverence. Well, my prayer two nights ago ended up being not so reverent and really honest and went something like this:

You know what God? This blows. I know You have a plan and that ultimately something good will come out of these crappy circumstances, but right now, I'm mad at You. Really, really angry. The "I don't want to talk to you" kind of angry. Because I want my two babies back. I want my grandpa to be OK (and my Grandma too, because she's suffering through this too).  I want my right tube back.  I don't understand how feeling exhausted all the time because of surgery can be anything other than lousy. I wanted that job to take my mind off all this garbage and now I'm even more depressed. And how can this be happeneing to my friend?! She's already great - she doesn't need the Job lesson. I know You're in charge, but right now, in this moment, I'm bitter and angry at you and I don't want to talk to you. This sucks"

I realise that it sounds whiny, selfish and irreverent, but that's where I was.

The next day I decided to take Mac to watch my friends son play his first exhibition hockey game of the season (Mac is a hockey fanatic). The weather sucked, but I had to get out of the house, and I think hubby needed a break too. The sun was out (most of the time) but there were really really dark clouds all around.

At the end of the game, I said goodbye to my friend and got in the car. We were driving through town when I saw the rainbow. As rainbows go, it was a pretty good one. But as I drove out of town and towards our house, the rainbow re-appeared. Right. Next. To. Where. I. Live.  I have never in my life been that close to a rainbow, or seen one that bright before.

I had goosebumps all over. I actually took a picture of it while driving, because it was so awesome, but my phone's camera really didn't do it justice. It was like a movie moment and all of a sudden the story of Noah came back to me. The part where God tells Noah that he made the rainbow as a sign of his covenant with Noah. A sign. More goosebumps.

OK God, I'm listening.

So I got home and walked in the door and my hubby was sitting at the table. As I walked in he turned to me and said "Hey, David's Tea called. They want you to call back and do a phone interview with you."


Genesis 8:12 And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: 13 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.

Gotcha, God. I got the message.


janelle said…
love this, and love you. thanks for sharing the lesson <3

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