Volume Setting.

It started off as one of those mornings. You know the one. The kind where you hope beyond hope that you're just dreaming you woke up because if you're actually awake, it's not going to be a good day. The kind of day where you're already praying for an attitude change and for patience, and all you've done is walk to the bathroom and sit on the toilet for your morning pee.

To be more accurate it started as one of those nights. The kind where you get about 4 hours of sleep even though you spent 9 hours in bed. Watching. Your. Clock. Thinking, gee, I should really be sleeping now, seeing as how I was exhausted all day and am still exhausted. Unfortunately, the cold I have is keeping me up with a constant tickle in the back of my throat. The kind that won't stop for anything: Chloraseptic numbing spray, honey, hot tea, water, crackers, cold water, chill lime almonds, halls, you name it.  Did I mention I had heartburn?

To sum up the above, I woke up tired and cranky to the sound of my son running into my room yelling "Mom!! Want to let Clover out!!! Mom, want to let Clover out!!! Mom, want to let Clover out!!" like some kind of deranged parrot. I think I croaked something along the lines of "Wait till Daddy gets upstairs." which elicited scream of protest that I tried to block out by shoving my head under a pillow.

After stumbling out of bed, putting some clothes on, and staggering into the hallway, I was greeted by my husband, all dressed for work and looking annoyingly human (while I resembled something akin to the missing link) who informed me "There's rabbit pee in the bathroom you need to clean up." (Let me say here that my husband is not lazy. The deal is that since I wanted the rabbit, I get clean up duty.) So I walked into the bathroom, grabbed a baby wipe and started wiping up the little bunny driblets. At which point Clover decided that this would be a good time to come and see me. And pee. Again. On me.

I love my bunny. But to be honest, for a minute there, I pictured her skinned and roasting in the oven. What can I say.  I've had rabbit before. It's actually delicious.

So by the time I sat down at the table with my bowl of cereal, I was in a FOUL mood. Mac saw what I was eating and immediately began demanding some. And by demanding I mean yelling. Right next to me at the table, on this morning of all mornings.

Let me  explain something I've noticed lately. Mac seems to come with three volumes: 1) ear shattering, 2) brain numbing and 3) whine. None of them are appropriate when asking a grumpy pregnant woman who has been peed on to share her cinnamon toast crunch.  After two shrieks, my hair was standing on end and I was sitting there clutching my spoon in my white knuckled hand trying not to scream myself.

Very calmly and with admirable (if I do say so myself) control, I looked at Mac and said "If you want mommy to share/listen, you need to whisper. Otherwise, mommy won't pay attention to you."

This is the part where God reminded me of what a great kid I have and that I need to keep my sense of humour intact.

After screaming something at the TV where Max and Ruby was playing, he turned to me and whispered in a barely audible voice "D'autre, please." After inhaling the bite like a shark in a meat shop, he went right back to yelling at the screen.

Who says he doesn't listen to mommy?

Oh, wait, I have to go. There's a little voice yelling at me from the bathroom. It's saying "MOM,  ALL DONE POOP!!! WIPE MY BUM PLEASE!!!"

See ya on the flip side!!


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