Bad Dream

Have you ever had a dream that is so gut wrenching that you wake up in the morning with a hollow feeling in your stomach and a bad taste in your mouth? That was this morning. I think the dream I had last night was second only to the one where I dreamed that Mac had drowned. (URGH!)

I dreamt that Harry was in the military and had been sent somewhere and been killed. In my dream, the military basically knew it was going to happen but Harry had volunteered and they had sacrificed him. I was trying to adjust to being a single mom.

The funny part is, this wasn't that bad because during this part of the dream, I knew I was dreaming so I wasn't too upset. Then I woke up. But not really. Only in my dream. And Harry still wasn't there. And all of a sudden I realized that he really WAS dead and that I would never see him again, hug him again, kiss him again...  I was sitting on the end of my bed staring into our closet and holding an old shirt of his trying to get an other whiff of him. Even his clothes didn't smell like him anymore.

And then two things happened simultaneously. Isaac whimpered a few times and woke me up and Harry rolled over in bed and elbowed me in the head. I've never been so happy to have a head injury. I cuddled up to him and breathed in the smell and said a quiet thank you to God that Harry was still there.

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