Birds, Bees and Vasectomies

So my husband had a vasectomy today. Have you ever tried to explain a vasectomy to a very smart three year old, and answer all his questions about WHY without getting into a detailed discussion about the birds and the bees and where babies come from? No??? Well, I don't recommend trying it because it's AWKWARD.

This was the conversation.

Harry: "OK, buddy lets get going. Daddy has to go to the hospital today."
Mac: "To see Nanny??" (My MIL works there)"
Harry: "Nope, Daddy is going to have surgery on his pecker."
Mac: *looking confused*
Me: "Daddy is going to see a Dr and he's going to make sure that Mommy and Daddy can't have any more babies.
Mac: "No more babies?"
Me: "Nope. Mommy and Daddy have you and Isaac and we're happy with that."
Mac: "The doctor will check your pecker, Daddy?"
Harry: "That's right buddy."
Mac: *Still looking confused and overwhelmed by the amount of questions in his little brain*
Me: "The doctor is going to cut the tube inside daddy's pecker with the sperm that makes babies." (I know that's not entirely accurate, but to Mac "pecker" includes the whole "region".
Mac: "Daddy, are you going to the pecker hospital?"
Harry: "Nope, Daddy is going to Nanny's hospital."

And then the conversation kind of petered off (no pun intended). I thought we had squeaked by a potentially horrific situation by the skin of our teeth. After the procedure was done, we went and picked Harry up and brought him home. My in-laws stopped in to pick up Mac after my mother in law was done work. Mac was going there for the night so that Harry could have a little peace and quiet. As soon as they came in the house, Mac ran up to them and announced:

"Daddy is sleeping because he went to the doctor today and the doctor cut his pecker off!! *pause* Not all of it though, just a little bit!!"

My mother in law and I nearly busted a gut trying not to laugh. And there you have it - a vasectomy according to a three year old.


janelle said…
hilarious! mac is awesomely smart. :D

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