"Here Mom, Lick This!"

"Here Mom, lick this!" said Mac as he approached me with an evil grin and a shiny palm held up to my face. Yes, you read that right. Shiny.  He had just come back upstairs from asking his father to smell his head, since he had decided it would be funny to wear the bowl his dill pickle seasoned popcorn had been in on his freshly washed head. Pickle scented three year old. It's the new "in" thing.
Back to the hand. It was glossy. And coming closer and closer to my face which was really freaking me out. Harry was downstairs trying to unclog the sewer pipe in our laundry room so the list of possibilities of what it could be was nearly endless.
"Dude, what is that?" I asked him, still kinda scared and trying to figure out what it was. I took a whiff. It didn't smell like anything. Vaseline? Hand soap? Water??
With that terrifyingly self satisfied smile still on his face he shook his head and said "Peanut butter!"
Peanut butter?? There was NO way it was peanut butter. For one, it wasn't brown (THANK GOD!) and two I know where the peanut butter is stored and he had no access to it.
"Show me where you got it from" I asked him. And my sweet little child took me to the kitchen where I had the opportunity to see him rub his hand on a BRAND NEW BRICK OF BUTTER and then proceed to lick it off.

*sigh*

Welcome to the crazy house.
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