All of the Things

I just had a discussion with my sister-in-law the other day about time.  When Mac turned a year old I went back to work. By December, I had made the decision to leave full time employment in order to be a stay at home mom. I don't regret that decision at all, but part of me thinks that it was made with a little naiveté and wide eyed enthusiasm. I had all these dreams that I would be well-rested, patient, involved and really really zen. The truth is I love it. I love that I get to see my little guys all the time and I love that I get to see all the little milestones, but... Ah yes, BUT. BUT sometimes, I feel like I've blinked and three years have passed. Sometimes, I feel like I was a way better mom to Mac pre-Isaac. I had more patience. I was more fun. I didn't worry about messes and time and all that jazz.

We took trips.  We picked apples.

We did crafts. We baked together. We flew kites.

We had adventures.
With Isaac? I'm pretty much just surviving. I'm so so tired, and I don't know why because Mac is in school now and Isaac is a half-decent sleeper.  Friday was the first "crafty" project that I ever tried with Isaac and all it basically was was me taping a piece of construction paper to the table and then watching Isaac eat finger paints. No joke.

 I don't mean to sound all "woe is me, my life is hard" because in reality it really isn't, but I seriously don't know where all the time is going. Our house is in a constant state of disarray and the other day my husband actually asked me what I did all day. I was so insulted, but on the other hand, I couldn't tell him. I have no idea what I do all day. I get up. Feed Mac. Make his lunch. Get him on the bus. Feed Isaac... and then the rest of the day goes by in a blur of me chasing Isaac around trying to clean up the last mess while he makes a new one. During nap time, I either take a nap (very rarely) or try to clean up quickly and work on my home study course. Sometimes, if I'm feeling really ambitious, I work out. Then the afternoon is an other blur of messes and trying to make supper. And it doesn't matter if I've cleaned the house spotless. It's as though at 4PM an alarm goes off in Isaac's head that tell him "TRASH THE HOUSE!!! TRASH THE HOUSE!!!" so that by the time Harry gets home it looks as though I've done nothing all day except sit on my butt.

My point in all this is that so many things are happening and it's starting to make me panicky because I feel like I haven't had the chance to sit down and record the funny moments so that during our next bout of four year old attitude problems, or 1 year old sleepless nights, I have something funny to look back on and remind myself that my children aren't in fact terrorists. I haven't had a chance to record the milestones, the meaningful moments, sweet moments, victories, failures... all the things!!!! So this is a mishmash of all the things I HAVEN'T recorded in the last little while. This is my catch up post about all the things that have happened.

1. Mac still talks a lot about Mummu. A few weeks ago we had this conversation.
"Mom, can I go visit Mummu?"
"No dude, because Mummu is in Heaven."
"Can I go to heaven?"
"Well, you have to die first buddy, you can't just visit heaven and Mommy really doesn't want you to die any time soon."
"Oh." *Pause* "One day, I'm going to see Mummu again. But not now. I don't want to die yet." *looks out the window and whispers* : "I want to see the world!!".

2. Remember what I said about Isaac being a first class, ninja level mess maker? Well, I had woken up after a bad nights sleep DETERMINED to be productive anyway. I vacuumed the upstairs and got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the floor.
This is how Isaac helps me clean. He rides the vacuum like it's his pony.
I don't often do that, I usually use the steam mop, but my floor needed some elbow grease this time. Then Isaac somehow got into the fridge and smashed about nine eggs on the floor. Then finger painted in the smashed eggs while I was trying to clean it up. And then sampled the raw eggs *gag*. Why do I bother?!

3. Mac started hockey. Did I mention I'm now the hockey mom that I used to talk disparagingly about before? They get their official team jerseys this week and I might be more excited about that than Christmas.

4. I have started teaching Aquafit at the pool here and I LOVE IT. Seriously. And it makes no sense, since when I have to get up in front of people I choke. But for some reason I love doing this and really enjoy it.

5. My sister in law is moved up here now with my two little nephews. I'm so pumped.  Here's one of them. Hello, can we say ADORABLE?!

6. Isaac is obsessed with balloons. He brings them to me and has me inflate them then throws them in the air and watches them fly around while they are deflating. We would do this all day if it was up to him. The other morning, I heard Harry go get him out of his crib. Not two minutes later, I heard the pitter patter of little feet running into my room. A slobbery balloon landed on my face and a little voice shrieked happily "Maman!!! Baoon!!!??  (that's how he says balloon)."

7. Speaking of words, he's really starting to talk. To most people it sounds like gibberish and about 75 percent of it is, but we're starting to pick words out here and there. His big thing is parroting what others say. My mom saw him one day and said "Hi dude!" and he said it right back to her. It was hilarious. He also says "UH-ME!!!" which I'm pretty sure is help me, "NOM NOM" which means feed me now or I will turn into something that would resemble the Hulk if he was on methamphetamines. He can say Poppa VERY clearly, Mommy, Daddy, GOAL!!! (yes I taught him that) and Mac. I'm sure there's more, but hey, it's past 9PM. I'm not fully functional.

8. I've fallen in love with Jamie Oliver. For reals. I have a food crush on him.

9. Our furnace broke down this week. Goodbye, money.

10. Isaac is teething. This is what a teething Isaac looks like. (Or maybe he just really hates this toque).

11. Isaac has decided that the toilet is like, the best toy EVER!

12. Isaac is obsessed with hockey sticks.

13. Mac is still a goofball.

14. Between hockey, school, aquafit and all that stuff, we've been running around like crazy. So today we took off for my MIL's place and spend the afternoon/evening there. It was great. It's in the bush and it was sooo peaceful. Not because we did anything special, but because we just  hung out.

We built a snowman.
Went for a walk.

Had a snowball fight.
Played hockey in the basement.
Mac played battleship on Nan's computer (and won three times in a row I might add). 
We had a snowball fight and then Mac, Isaac and Harry had a hot tub.

There are so many things we're doing that I don't want to forget, and that I want to savour and enjoy. I think a big part of it is being in the moment, and not being attached permanently to my phone or computer. It's being organized enough that I don't get frustrated with my kids because of my bad planning. It's prioritizing the things that are important to me and allowing myself to let the things that aren't take a back seat. My cousin's wife (aka my heart-sister) has recently started a series of blog posts called 1000 Gifts.  I think that I need to follow suit and start listing things that I consider gifts. Maybe not each day, but once a week, compile a list of things that I am thankful for/that I consider gifts. 

I'll just add that as #4000 on my to do list.

Peace out, y'all!


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