The Anatomy of a Mood Swing

I have no desire to justify or debate the validity of mood swings, hormone fluctuation and their subsequent effect on my behaviour. I think that I've done that often enough in previous posts. Today, my only objective is to walk you through an hour of the roller coaster ride that is PMS. Buckle up. It's about to get crazy in here.

3:17 PM - Standing at the counter prepping supper. Feeling elated. Will be having Shepherd 's Pie tonight. Easy. Quick. Delicious. Will likely be done most of the prep work and the pie will be ready to go into the oven by the time Mac gets home.

3:18 PM - Isaac is sitting at the table sipping hot chocolate that I made by mixing raw cacao powder with milk, cream and a smidge of sugar. Feeling smug about my healthy alternatives and blissful  Little House On The Prairie feelings. I'm rocking this home maker thing.

3:20 PM - Glance at the clock. Feel a twinge of anxiety. Running a bit behind. Won't quite be done by the time Mac walks in. Worry that he will feel unloved if I can't fully engage in a post school breakdown of the day.

3:30 PM - Mac walks in. Isaac instantly announces that he ate all of Mac's Tic Tacs. Dread creeps in, but Mac is pacified by my promise to replace them with a flavor he actually likes.

3:35 PM - Mac asks for a snack and I tell him to eat what he has left over in his lunch before eating something else. He grunts at me, annoyed. A tinge of red colors the edges of my field of vision. I take a few deep breaths and it recedes.

3:40 PM - Mac hands me an envelope. I totally forgot that today was report card day. Feel a little anxious, but mostly smug. He's a smart kid and has good manners. He's never had a bad report card. Tear open the envelope and pull out four pages of writing. Start to worry. Grade 1 is obviously serious business.

3:45 PM - My skimming of the cover letter is interrupted by the boys fighting over a slimy plastic worm that sticks to the wall when you swing it. They chase each other around the upstairs screaming. My neck muscles clench and I consciously try to use my nice mommy voice to settle the problem. End up taking the worm away and lecturing the kids about listening the first time. Go back to reading report card.

3:50 PM - Internally fist pump while reading Mac's character evaluation - I knew I didn't raise an animal! Skim his marks. Great grades in Math. H will like seeing that. Glow with pride.

3:51 PM - See that his reading mark is lower than I would like. Instantly spiral down into a black hole of self doubt. Did I not read to him enough? How did I end up with a kid that isn't at the top of his class for reading? I'm such a lazy mom! I need to work on this more! Try to stop the guilt spiral with a solid attempt at resolve. WE SHALL READ ALL THE BOOKS!! Announce that the TV must be turned off. Like, for ever!

3:55 PM - Finish reading his report card. Mixed feelings. Wonder if I should talk to him now or wait for his dad to get home and do it together. Isaac reminds me that his ear hurts.

4:00 PM - I take a look at his ear. It's a little red. I go get colloidal silver and put a drop in his ear. Instant screaming because I didn't warm it up. Mac starts screaming too because Isaac's crying hurt his ears. Mac's screaming is louder than Isaac's. I feel frustration and irritation with the level of noise. Want to crawl into the shelf of the fridge that holds the wine and chug.

4:14 PM - Soothe both kids back to reasonable moods. Finish mashing potatoes for Shepherd's pie. Kids start fighting again. Red starts to invade my field of vision again.

4:15 PM - Husband walks in. Makes joke about supper not being ready. Gets an earful about how the kids are animals that can't spend five minutes together with out UFC brawling and how I'm at the end of my rope and to top it off my husband isn't funny.

4:16 PM - Husband takes the kids outside to shovel. Relief.

4:17 PM - Guilt sets in that I haven't shoveled today. My husband is actually awesome. Big feelings of gratitude.

4:17:30 PM - Man, I was really harsh to him. He was just kidding after all. Sprinkle the top of the casserole with tears of regret. Resolve to tell him how much I appreciate him once he comes in.


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